It's official. I am an Idealist

if you want to find out what you are, here is the test .

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials. Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things. Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds. Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers. Idealists at Work Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job. Conscience looms large for you; in almost any situation, you feel compelled to measure yourself, other people, and the conditions of the environment against your personal morality. You have a tendency to perceive questions of meaning in even trivial matters and to worry about far-flung consequences of your actions. In your ideal job, you are free to pursue depth rather than breadth and quality rather than quantity. You feel rewarded when your projects and daily tasks allow you to immerse yourself in your process as deeply as you "need to" in order to satisfy your inner standards of quality. You are uncomfortable with the notion of authority per se and may avoid leading, as well as being led, either consciously or unconsciously. As you experience them, adhering to fixed roles and rules amounts to an abdication of your responsibility to exercise your conscience.

Of life and love

It took me a while, but I am back. My head kept spining because of certain people, whom shall not be named, for privacy's sake. 
And in this past month, I finally had time to put my mind in order. And it got me to this conclusion. If you know me, you can easily figure out that I feel love and I need love. However, due to my dear old grandpa (now deceased) I have a somewhat weird and misplaced conception of love. At least, how love is viewed nowadays. He was a protestant pastor and one his sermons kinda stuck to me: Here you have the text discussed. (Aici varianta in limba romana)
If you know me, you know I tend to obsess about some girls (how the hell do you think my poems got written?). However, my dear, it is not the person I am obsessed with, but with the image I project upon said person. Read the poems and find out what I am talking about.
I should say that I am in love with love itself. 
Should you strike me special, then my love is directed towards you. No matter how it is, accepted or rejected, my heart will still hold you close. It is not that I don't feel hatred towards people (God knows I have a mile long black list). But in matters of love, it's live and let live.
One more thing. Due to this perspective on life and love, I seem to be considered either a little Romeo (should I obsess over only one - fate included) either a little Casanova (should I chase multiple birds). Not my intention. Like I said, I need to feel the love described in the text I gave you a little earlier.

Now, I leave you with this clip and these words: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

Nightwish - While your lips are still red

Autism Spectrum Quotient

I am tired. Tired of all the nonesense, of the preaching and of what you call self victimization. So I wound up searching and buffing up the defence for my condition. Not that I want to show you were wrong, but to prove for my own peace of mind that I was right about it. I am talking about my Asperger's syndrome. 

I came across a test devised by a Cambridge Psychologist named Simon Baron-Cohen, for the Autism Spectrum Quotient (you can find the test here).

And here are the results we have all been waiting for: (drum roll please)

The test assesses five different areas. Autistic-like responses will show poor social skill, attention switching, communication and imagination, and an exaggerated attention to detail. In other words, geekiness. You scored 32. The ranking below provides some idea of where that AQ fits in.

	Score
	32 - 50	Scores over 32 are generally taken to indicate Asperger's Syndrome or high-functioning autism, with more than 34 an "extreme" score.
	31
	30
	29
	28
	27
	26
	25
	24	Average math contest winner
	23
	22
	21	Average male or female computer scientist
	20
	19	Average male scientist, and average male or female physicist
	18	Average man
	17	Average female scientist
	16
	15	Average woman, and average male or female biologist
	14
	13
	0 - 12

I Have a Dream - ABBA

Really missed this song.

A knight’s death

Fresh out of the oven. :) Enjoy.

A knight’s death

Full moon – hidden
Behind the dark clouds;
The knight rests here, a place forbidden,
Wounded, under a blood red shroud…

Feeling the scorpion’s sting
And its venom coursing through his veins;
Hearing the flutter of an angel’s wings
As it flees from the darkness’ reign.
……………
Elsewhere, a flowing shade
Rushes through the trees,
The silhouette of the young maid
Looking for the one whose soul flees,

Her crystal crown
Askew on her head,
Her burgundy gown
Tearing as she sped.
……………
In the black pitch,
By the light of embers,
The venom making his muscles twitch,
He lays and remembers

Her sandy locks
Her grey blue eyes,
Ever slyer than a fox’,
(Oh, sight sent by the skies)

Her sweet smile,
Her perfect skin…
Although he’d known her for a while,
He’d never met the soul within.

A Fury by nature, a Nymph by name;
For her, he damned himself,
For her smile, he lit the flame.
And, yet, he long remained but a memory on a shelf.
……………
She hopes she makes it in time…
‘Damned be the treason and damn be the plot!
God, let me make it before the bell’s last chime!
A curse upon thee, father, and upon your whole lot!’
……………
‘I lay here, in my darkest hour…’
He manage to utter, drawing his last breath,
‘Let not my life be a blue flower
Withering as I’m nearing to my death…

Now, the fire’s ablaze,
And my kingdom’s turned to dust.
But I long for the days
My soul wasn’t covered with rust…

At last you came, my dear…
Speak not and let not a tear be shed,
Because there is nothing to fear…
In death, nothing is to dread.’
……………
‘And, yet, it feels like a nightmare…
I fear for your doom.’
A single crystal tear dropped by an ember’s flare.
‘May it light your tomb.’
……………
After the accursed deed,
He sealed his fate:
His heart to forever bleed,
As he’ll guard Hell’s Gate.

Laz Buhmann's Speech to the classs of 97

I think it is about time I posted this one. Laz Buhmann's Speech to the class of 97.

WTF

Since when does a tragedy become a national holiday? I just ran into this pic and it looks to me, no matter what happened (be it conspiracy or not), that people forget about who really got hurt.



Goddamnit people, get a grip and show a little compassion.

From Amsterdam with love (Germany pt. 1)

A little glimpse of my life, other than politics and rants about social interaction. I'm back from my aunt's place in Neuss, Germany (near Dusseldorf). It was an nice vacation, but, unfortunately, it was with a pair of geezers :)).
enjoy the photos

On the plane going there


Amsterdam Pics






At Amsterdam's Madame Tussaud's

Emilie Autumn - By the Sword

I am falling in love with her music.

Emilie Autumn - By the Sword

Emilie Autumn - The Art of Suicide

The name says it all.

The Art of Suicide

A thing of beauty

No, this is not by John Keats. You can find that here.



A thing of beauty

A thing of beauty
Could not easily pass…
Even an angel’s smile
It could surpass.

A frail rose, a white dove,
Eternal beauty…
Symbols of endless love…
Protecting them is your duty.

Red lightning, bright light,
Candles in the wind…
Signs of redemption
For all those who sinned.

Though threatened by visions of demons,
Shadowed by the cloak of death,
Thou shall never die…
Love has not given its last breath.

Remember…
At Dawn’s first chime,
Both Love and Hate were created.
Equal in strength, they endured throughout time.

God and Satan
Over a human’s heart fought,
To destroy one or another.
It was all for naught.

None prevailed,
For both still endure…
Now make your choice,
Your heart is still pure.

A thing of beauty,
One with an angel’s face,
Touched by
God’s overwhelming grace…

Is you!

Poem

I still haven't found a suitable name for this one. I just call it what it is, but accept alternate titles for it. Enjoy.



Poem

I've been blessed…
For such a sweet sight
Would make even
An angel’s delight.

An angel, however,
You are not…
For an angel
Is not easily forgot…

You are but
A rose of dust…
A wingless dove…
A soul of rust…

Yet, underneath,
Lies a light unseen
And a soul that’s not tarnished,
But of bright green…

The Garden

Back again with an oldie. Enjoy.



The Garden

My soul was a garden
You were my rose.
For some time,
You were my sanity dose.

Storms came
And passed on by,
Still we sought each other.
We had our fates to defy.

To long had it been
Since roses last bloomed.
The garden turned
Into a lonely tomb.

Roses once resided here
Now angels do.

A couple of short ones...

As I have said in my previous post, I found some of my older poems. Here are a couple of short ones. Dulce venin and Free Spirit. The first one is one from the very begining. The second one from sometime in 2006...

Dulce venin

Dulce venin,
Gand senin.
Far' de chin,
In moarte traim.

Zambet amar,
Om cu har
Da in dar.
In moarte traim.

Multa credinta,
Cat cu putinta,
Sa ai, fiinta.
La viata venim.


Free Spirit

I want to dwell in the highest mountain,
To bathe in the deepest sea,
To drink from the purest fountain...
Foremost, I want to be free...

Living in the forests dark,
Shedding all my fears,
Hearin angels hark,
Or weeping all my tears.

Questions

I remembered I had a couple of poems stashed on another site. This is one of them. As you see, I was in a classic bitter-sweet mood. Enjoy



Questions

Could Hell ever forgive a sinner?
Could Heaven ever condemn a saint?
Could love ever kill a soul?
Could hatred ever give birth to happiness?

Would you be unfaithful to your soul mate?
Would you help those unknown to you?
Would you put them  out of their misery?
Would God pull you out of the deepest fires?

Should you forgive everyone that wrongs you?
Should you forget every unhappy moment?
Should you cry over dead love?
Should you learn from your past?

Too many questions…
Questions that trouble the heart…
Questions that torment the mind…
Too many questions for a weary soul...