A good bye

One of the many. It is a little weird to sit here and write this, but this is my catharsis place. As much as I would love not to need this, it seems the only place where I can really let loose. Just like screaming into a pillow, but without the screaming and without the pillow. :)) (This is part of "letters to my unnamed lover", so bear with it.)

You know me, I am a romantic by nature. It is not an unknown fact, I loved you. I still do, and, probably, always will. I don't think I have it in me to utter the words "I hate you", no matter what you might have done. Or what you haven't done. I might feel the way I feel about you, but if it isn't reciprocated, it is like a fire burning out. Though you might have a kindling of affection towards me, it is not enough. I live, breathe and thrive on this fire. 

Just to give you an idea, I dare to say I am willing to dive straight into hell for the one I love. For some reason, it seems to me, this scares the living daylights out of you. Apparently, the concept of self-sacrifice is one of the things you are unfamiliar with. And I no longer have the patience to explain it to you, as you see it as a waste of time.  Damned be the individualistic mind set of the present.

Again, you know me, if there is one thing that I might list as my biggest weakness, that thing is Beauty. And, my dear, you know it yourself, you are very beautiful. Nowadays, we are surrounded by beautiful people.  But, as some know, for most, beauty is skin deep. A nice shell doesn't mean the soul is as beautiful. Need I say how your soul looks to me, with your way of thinking? Always blaming others for your own shortcomings,  always in someone's face or with your teeth sunk in someone's throat. Who said "Don't judge a book by its covers" knew what he/she was 

Like I said, I love you and always will, but it will not be Love. I won't go into the Agape/Eros debate, because I know you will not understand it. 

I think I will leave this letter unfinished. No reason why I will not finish it, just won't. I will probably be back, sometime. but not soon.